if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
