I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
