Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
