idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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