She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I checked into jail on foursquare
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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