I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
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