What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I just want nice things and good sex
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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