we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Gay?
German.
Pity.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
