she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
