before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Randomize
