Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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