So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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