I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize