he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I currently don't understand fingers.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
