i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
she looked like the before picture.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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