Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize