i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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