I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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