i just google imaged poop.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
