suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
No subtext here. People are naked.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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