Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
We got so high we made milksteak
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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