ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
