i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
