You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
So squirting runs in the family.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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