i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize