Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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