he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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