Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
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