I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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