This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
