He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
