You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
