Rock
Scissors
Fuck
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
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