Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
