Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
The Olympian is in my bed
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
