sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
