I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Randomize
