Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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