He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
