I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
