Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
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