We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
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