Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
