I wanna bring you to show and tell
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
