I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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