Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
