haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
