I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
