someone get that fucking seahorse.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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