after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
you never un-have a 4some
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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