His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
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This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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