i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
