oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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