Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
