Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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