i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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