how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
