No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
