He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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