I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
