i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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