that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
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